All Over Again

I’ve seen a lot of people falling in love and falling out of it. They would meet up only to gather their differences before drifting apart once again. The meaning of love seems to fade away into the distance. I always wondered what love actually ever was. I even thought once, that I knew it. But every time I have questioned myself; what is it? What builds it? And what is it that gives it existence???? How do you define it? Every time I asked myself this question, and even though I have failed to get an answer, it never affects what the thought of that one person makes me feel.

Then I think of all the fairy tale events, and I think of all the movies that I have seen; hoping that I might find something that would tell me what love is. But all that they show off are people eloping, and gazing into each other’s eyes, and holding hands and not saying a word, and the first kiss, and the first walk, and the first time they ever held each other and a lot of other things. I tell myself that it’s a lot of bull, and continue my search for something that would give me an answer to my question.

Meanwhile, no matter the people I see around me falling apart affects the thoughts of the single human being constantly in my head. But somehow, neither does watching “couples” get all intimate together. Every such act seems hollow and meaningless. Then I think, may be the world is right. May be the fairy tales are right. And may be the movies are right. May be THAT is what love actually is. If that is true, whatever I feel is so not love. I try to push the thought of that possibility away. I look for another explanation. May be a fantasy, or may be a simple attraction. It is not an uncommon event. People get attracted to each other all the time and later realize that it might have been the wrong decision. (Talk about failed marriages, love triangles and affairs.)

While all these thought seem to wax and wane in my search for my answer, one thought still remains unexplained. Why does a single sight of that one person make me feel on top of the world? How is it humanly to possible to think about nothing but that one smile for the entire day and feel it has been the best day ever? A single glance at a photograph, a single feel of that characteristic smile on that face, and a single “Hi” in that beautiful voice? Any one of these. And I fall in love all over again.